More about Memories

What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery in Wind, Sand, and Stars

The memories I described in my last post apparently resonated with readers, for I received many gratifying comments, including this one from my friend Jan, a hiking companion from many years ago: “One of my strongest memories is the surge of happiness that infuses my body the moment I start a backpack.”

Perhaps those bodily memories are even more precious than those of place. For me it began as soon as I took my pack out of my car and hoisted it onto my back. For days I had been preparing for the trip, packing food and equipment, and always standing on the scale the night before my departure, weighing my pack, which turned out to be daunting. I carried as much as sixty-five pounds on those long solo trips. “How can I possibly do this?,” I would ask myself. Then I would carry the pack out to my car and set my alarm for an early departure.

When I arrived at the trailhead I would open the back of my car and load that pack onto my small frame. Yes, that “surge of happiness” was there, but there was something more. The discomfort of that weight on my shoulders and back can only be described as exhilarating. I was on the trail. I had that heavy pack on my back. The doubt of the night before that flooded my mind, “How can I possibly do this?,” was replaced with, “Yes I can.” Suddenly the weight of the pack, even the discomfort, seemed like something wonderful.

On that first day on the trail my pack weight was excessive, but my joy unending. The first day on the trail often involved a significant climb to get into the mountains and not merely near them, yet that hard work added to the satisfaction. There might have been rain as I made camp that first day, even hail, but I was where I wanted to be and no amount of stormy weather could dampen my mood.

So I remember. . .my aching back and shoulders, the steep climb, making camp in a storm, and that feeling of joy is still there. Though I may not go backpacking any more, those feelings remain. I experience them in my aching back, and yes, it feels wonderful.